Five years ago, I walked into a dance studio. I had never taken a dance class before, but I knew it was something I wanted to do. My soul was crying for music and movement, even if my body and mind were fairly sure that it would not end well.
I walked in knowing no one. Brave? Or just another great way to hide in a crowd?
I still don’t know.
But what I do know is this: five years later, I have a serious addiction and wonderful friends.
I can’t always keep up with the rest of the class. I don’t jump as high, or move as effortlessly. But my soul is singing, and my face is shining. I’m learning new things, and daring to try.
The fact that I walked in there still astounds me, and I thank myself frequently for doing it.
My challenge now is to apply that same blind faith and trust to other areas of my life.
There are things I want desperately to change, ways in which I want to grow, avenues to explore, things to discover about others and myself.
I have been on the road of self-discovery and acceptance for quite some time. In many ways, I know that I have grown, and in others I feel so stuck. But even acknowledging that ‘stuck’ feeling is progress; by seeing it, allowing it, pushing through the frustration with myself, and just letting it be. I will become unstuck in time; and just like every new skill I learn in the dance studio, sometimes it just takes a little longer.
Taken by Mama (Rose) Mautner
So, yes, I want to be further along. Yes, I want things to move faster. But as we learn in physics, every action has an equal and opposite reaction; meaning the harder I push, the harder I will be pushed back.
So for now, I’m gently exploring and patiently waiting, dancing along this winding, meandering path.
The process is taking its time, but it is moving, never stagnant, and I’m ok with that, I think.
By: Jacqui Mautner.
Jacqui is an expat Aussie, current Israeli, living in Tel Aviv and loving it. She is a teacher, explorer and perpetual student. Her happiness comes in the form of travel, good food and good company (or a good book). You can follow her journey on Instagram.