We live in a world of millenial dating mayhem filled with headaches, heartaches, and probably some wristaches (thanks to all the...um, texting) too.
No matter how you do it, from online dating to old school eye f*cking, the dating world today is a JUNGLE. Sorting through all those rough and tumble men can be tough, and though they always say there are plenty of fish in the sea, do any of us even like fishing!?
The most important thing to remember is that YOU control the story, and only YOU can change your dating game.
No matter what kind of dater you are, here are 5 top tips to change your first date game- and help keep you afloat in a sea of average fish.
1. Keep it real.
We all just want someone who will love us for who we are, in all our silly and strange glory. For better or for worse. For richer or for poorer. With lots of cleavage or a little. Whether we wear Spf 4 or 55. Whether we prefer the air conditioning or the fan.
So why do we feel the need to put on an act when it comes to dating? Why do we feel the need to put on a front, instead of just being ourselves?
Save yourself the time and energy. Be confident in who you are. Be confident that you deserve someone who wants you for YOU. No one expects perfection – so throw it off the table and put yourself on it as you are. I mean not literally on it..unless…there is always the potential for it to become your best first date ever ;)
2. Just flow with it.
Any date, especially the first, is a bit ‘eeeeeeeek’. What do we wear, will we kiss, should we offer to pay even though we have no intention of doing so?, and so on.
The best thing to do is literally let all the future worries float away and just focus on the NOW. Simply put, you’re getting to know someone new. Sure this person could be your hunka hunka soulmate, but he could also be a hysterical story, or eventually, a good friend. You never know what will happen, so keep the worry away, and just flow with it.
3. Laugh. Smile. Exude Happiness.
Did you know laughing is an automatic endorphin booster? This means if you laugh just a little (even if it’s at a mediocre dad joke) you will 100% feel happier, calmer, and more comfortable with the stranger who sits across from you.
ADDED BONUS: Your date will also feel it. Laugh at the misspelled menu, or your small trip up the stairs, or that old dude shoveling bread into his mouth - but just laugh. Your date will love seeing you smile and he'll keep trying to bring on the same effect.
4. Know your boundaries.
First comes love…then comes marriage..then comes…BOOSHIT. Let’s face it. These days, first comes sex. Ladies, whether you know it or not, YOU control 98.6% of male sexual activity in the world.
What too many women don’t do is take advantage of this absolute gem of knowledge and use it to their advantage. While most men are looking to get it in sooner than later, just remember this: Boys are like vampires. They can only come through that door if you choose to invite them. If you're not into it, do not feel guilty, obligated, or otherwise just because he bought you a drink or dinner.
You owe him absolutely nothing. You do not need to fulfill his dreams. You are the priority. Don’t be afraid to act like it.
5. No expectations.
I repeat…NO expectations. Easier said than done, we know – but if you submit to the fact that this dating experience will not make you or break you, it becomes much easier. The hard truth is that expectations result in disappointment.
It sucks to be disappointed. If you can work on letting it flow (See Tip 2), your dating life will open up to a whole new world (with new horizons to pursue) that can actually be enjoyable, and not cringe worthy.
In conclusion my friends, not every dating experience will be great. In fact, the majority will be the exact opposite. But if you remain true to yourself, let it flow, and just laugh, we bet something special will come along when you least expect it...