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8 Reasons Why Your Boobies Are Super Important

In support of breast cancer awareness month, we think it’s time to bring attention to the reason for the whole shebang – the boobie. We wouldn’t have breast cancer if we didn’t have breasts (and yes, even guys can get breast cancer!). It’s important for us to love, honor and care for our chests and our bodies.

For our heroines who are experiencing or have survived breast cancer, we support you wholeheartedly, wherever you are, with boobies or without - there is no doubt.

We want to be clear that our direct mention of boobies is because we want to convey the importance of taking care of ourselves and our bodies - NOW.

SO - here are 8 reasons to remind us why boobies are so important and should be cared for with the utmost respect...

1. Free Food.

Miracle of life anyone? How tremendously important is a body part that provides nourishment for our babies. Whether we choose to breastfeed or not, the fact that women are capable of producing such a glorious river of nutrients is simple proof that Mother Nature knew exactly what she was doing.

Breasts are a practical tool to feed our young, just like the breasts of every other mammal on Earth. They are beautiful because of their wondrous natural capabilities – not merely because of the way they look.

2. Bigger Balls.

Next time you hear someone say "grow some balls," just point to your boobies, give a 'shake shake shake' and say you already got emmm. When G-d made man and then woman, we think it was kind of like making pancakes. Ya know, the first batch tends to be a bit funky - but the second round seems just right :)

Instead of weak, hangy balls, he created practical, beautiful balls of glory. Don’t get us wrong - all balls are important. We’re just saying that the phrase is quite primitive, and should probably be dismissed from the human vernacular.

3. Sixth Sense.

That’s right, these babies be sensitive! Although our breasts may hang or perk as they please, they are part of a woman's body which we feel from the inside out. They can help us realize when our period is coming and though we may not love the feeling of tiny bursts of lightning hitting our inner nipple every time we walk up the stairs, we at least have the chance to tune in to our bodies and prepare ourselves.

They also offer a different path to pleasure: some nipples are so sensitive that when touched, can independently bring us to the big O!

4. Secret Weapon. (So SHHH!)

Bosoms are such a temptation, apparently men simply cannot concentrate when too many are around. Legend has it that the patriarchy was initiated in ancient Greece when a bunch of white dudes at a toga party discovered their inability to concentrate on being almighty and powerful with so many breasts around.

It was then they created Guy Code Amendment 1, which loosely states, “All breasts must be covered up and dispersed across the land, for if too many pairs are present in one room, we will fail at everything. We hereby declare all breasts must be divided and conquered!”

You may not find this information on Google because it’s super top secret stuff, but if we're being real, this is the main reason women have been kept out of power. However, now is the time we women use our chests as a secret weapon, and embrace our goodies for all the distractive powers that they hold. Muahahahaa!

5. Breasts just want to have fun.

Some of our nipples are slipping at the nip to be freed from their seams. Some want the chance to flounce freely without judgement or care, while some may be happily confined in their support system. Society seems to be at a crossroads about what boobs should and should not be allowed to do in public - and to that we say - HA.

We think it’s safe to speak for all boobies when we say, "Society, we are so effing tired of submitting to your silly standards." That’s why we need campaigns like Free the Nipple, which aim to desexualize breasts, empower equality, and reinstate boobies into normal body-part-hood. Or we need amazing mamas like this one to share why women should never breastfeed in public.