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25 Ways Your Smart Phone Is Exactly Like Your Ex

As we cradle our smart phones to sleep night after night, I ponder how 'smart' our dependency on these mini-machines has become. You KNOW it's a serious issue when more people would rather give up sex than their smart phone.

Sure, our phones open our world to information, communication, and make us feel like slamming photographers. How great is it that they even allow us to instantly research why sex will make you happier than your smart phone? But time and time again, our smart phones seem to fail us, just when we truly need them.

We've all experienced a version of that disappointment...ya know the kind where you come across an unlit alley riddled with dog poo, and your phone ie flashlight, decides to die, and you feel like Shmee from Peter Pan when he's walking on crocodile noses, except it's worse because your new shoes are in real danger of doodie destruction.


With such rampant dependency issues and vicious cycles of disappointment, these feelings began to feel all too familiar. And I got to thinking, [cue heart-thumping Soundcloud mix] -was this a relationship with my smart phone....or with my EX?

Without further ado, here are 25 ways your smart phone is exactly like your ex:

  1. It sleeps way too close to you in bed.

  1. It never seems to respect your privacy.

  2. It deletes things without asking you.

  3. It never understands what you're trying to say.

  4. It's always trying to get in your pants.

  5. It doesn't give you a f*cking minute of alone time.

  6. It thinks it knows everything about you but fails to make a real connection.

  7. When it's not around, you realize how damn dependent you are on it.

  8. You love it way more than it loves you.

  9. Sometimes it goes completely AWOL.

  10. It makes weird noises that distract you throughout the entire day and night.

  11. You tried to get space once - but it lured you back in by making you feel important.

  12. You think it makes you happy but just thinking about it, it's actually the exact opposite.

  13. You spend all of your time on it but never accomplish anything.

  1. You don't think you could survive without it, but you absolutely could.

  2. It manipulates you, even if you won't admit it.

  1. You need to keep an eye on it ALL the time.

  2. You turn it on way more than it turns you on.

  3. You try to take good care of it but somehow still end up dropping it all the time.

  4. Even after an upgrade, it doesn't really change for the better.

  5. You wonder what exists deep inside but there is no way its hard, protective shell will ever open up.

  6. You can't decide if it makes your life better or worse.

  7. It's not yet proven, but it might be giving you brain damage.

  8. You can fondly remember the days it didn't exist in your life.

  9. You're 100% better off without it. Yes you are, yes you are, yes you are.

If you nodded your head along to even a few on this list, it sounds like you need to give your smart phone, and your ex, a well-deserved break :)

Next up, read these 4 tips on how to wake up right to get the best out of your day.


Zo Flamenbaum is a former Jersey party girl with the heart of a hippie and the grind of an entrepreneur. A dreamer and a doer, Zo loves sunshine, writing, bagels, and exploring everything. Currently living in the start up city of Tel Aviv Israel, she founded School of Shine, a positive community aimed to uplift, enlighten and guide women's lives to live happier and healthier right now.

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