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10 Ways You Can Feel the Love Tonight

For far too long, women have been pushed, prodded, and trained to think, feel and act in certain ways - especially when it comes to giving and getting love.

Valentine’s Day is the #1 moneymaker for flower, card & chocolate companies, and the single most dreaded day for single – and even taken - women everywhere. We also don’t know many men who love the forcefully romantic and expectation filled holiday.

We’re all sick and tired of the V-Day misery, anxiety, and stress and it needs to be put to rest already!

There are so many glorious things about love, so how did Valentine's day become SO globally dreaded? It's up to us to change the way we think about love.

Here are 10 powerful thoughts you need to start thinking about love - no matter what size your drink, or your bouquet, on the V-Day.

1. You are literally the most important person ever

We’re not saying this to butter you up. We’re just saying that when it comes to love, YOU must come first. This is hands down the most crucial step that we seem to be missing in this crazy game of love.

As women, we tend to nurture others so much so that we don’t always, or ever, care for ourselves. While giving is great, we can only give what we have. If we don’t give any love to ourselves, we won’t have any to give away to others, and it will get increasingly difficult to find happiness within ourselves, let alone with another human being.

TAKEAWAY: First priority: YOU. Do something good for yourself. Read, write, exercise, treat yourself, LOVE yourself.

2. Being obsessed with finding a boyfriend is useless.

When you put so much focus on finding love, you tend to miss it completely. They say things happen when you least expect them, and this couldn’t be more true. It’s not about a search for true love, or finding today’s Tinder Tiger. It’s about being content and loving yourself, so that when you do come across the chance to love, you will be open, confident and secure within yourself.

TAKEAWAY: Stop searching for love and start searching for you. Once you do that, you'll be surprised by the opportunities that open.

3. None of this is your fault.

As women, we were trained to think about love in one way. Damsel. Distress. Hero. Happy. It started with Disney and it’s continued in the majority of media to this day. While we heart Disney with all our heart, our brains were trained for us to believe we need, and to desire a hero – because “with a hero comes our happiness.”

You didn’t even realize it happened, but it did. A child's brain intakes EVERYTHING in a subconscious stream from ages 2 - 6. What age did you start watching Disney movies on repeat?

The good news is we can untrain our brains, so long as we’re aware of the issue in the first place. And now you are, so do something about it.

TAKEAWAY: It’s time to freeze out the heroes and LET IT GO. Understand that the only person who can save this damsel, is this damsel.

4. Love is different for every single human.

Love is impossible to define. This powerful 4 letter word encompasses bajillions of completely different interpretations and ideas about what it means. And that's okay. We’re alike because we ALL want, need, and deserve love - but that doesn’t mean the same thing for any of us.

You think of diamonds, we think of chocolate cake. It's all cool. The problem lies when we start comparing ourselves to others and make ourselves feel bad - even though we’re all looking for different things anyway.

TAKEAWAY: The key is not to compare your love to anyone else’s- but to create your own definition of what you call love.

5. Love is not taught; Love is FELT.

Love is impossible to define because it’s everything and nothing all at the same time. Love exists in every shape, color, or size; between people and places and things; as tastes, sights, and sounds. Love moves you and stops you. Loves shakes you and breaks you. It's a song, a breeze, a ripple of feeling. Love is a sense that exists within you, so long as you are open to it.

TAKEAWAY: Love is YOU and what you make of it. If you find ways to feel love within yourself and to have an open heart & mind, you will have a better idea of what love feels like for you.