Like most of us, I am a work in progress.
I know that I am flawed and frayed around the edges. I accept that perfection is a fantasy for those who believe that perfection exists. I give love to others like water to a cow (fun fact…I bet you didn’t know that cows consume the most water of any land mammal. Well, now you know!). I trust first and learn regret. I feel the incision that every negative word carves into my skin. I don’t believe that I need approval while at the same time I crave it like thin-crust cheesy pizza, fresh out of the oven. My confidence comes and goes like tidal flooding affected by the moon (and by the moon, I mean the energy from those around me).
That’s me, before and after, inside and out, human.
There has been no single “aha” moment in my life to get me to this self-actualising moment; it has been a series of break through moments! Each experience is tied to a mental growth spurt. With each stage of maturity comes a new awareness of expectations and limitations.
The breakthroughs came from learning that I have the right to set limitations and that my expectations have no effect on how someone else is going to treat me.
Placing limitations was a learned skill for me. Limitations aren’t always necessary on a level playing field, but with some individuals, if you don’t set the rules of engagement you will find footprints on your back and mornings filled with regret. Own your space, value your time and respect your body. People will naturally react to the vibe you put out and will respectfully accept your limits. You can walk away from those that don’t. It’s okay.
Expectations are another hurdle. We have expectations of the humans around us - that they will be fair, kind and honest. We expect that they will be compassionate when we fall and that they will cheer our victories when we experience success. But, the universe produces abnormalities.
The breakthrough for me was learning that just because we hold these expectations of others does not obligate them fulfil our expectations.
Understanding this has lead me to better react when I believe that things are out of balance. We can only control our actions, our reactions and the energy that we give to others.
By: Tania Suares
Tania relocated to Israel from California in 2015 with her husband, two kids and their big family dog. New locations bring new adventures. She has an exciting job working for an up-and-coming startup that is focused on providing assistive communication for those who are unable to speak. She loves traveling and is always dreaming of her next stop on the globe.
Connect with Tania on Instagram.