I used to be that girl. Now, those words can begin many a story, but I mean the one who celebrated age 21 for 8 years straight, embarassed to call myself another year older. And I wasn't the only one. I knew girls who ignored their birthday outright, or just hesitantly celebrated because getting older isn't a good reason to celebrate (at least for women).
When I turned 29, something hit me. Actually, it was when I realized my dad was already telling people he had a 30-year old daughter.
"DON'T AGE ME," I exclaimed in horror, "I will remain a 20-something FOREVER!" And then, all chill & dad-like, he said, "Zosh, what's the big deal? How do you think I feel? I'm 65 and I still feel 18. Age doesn't actually mean anything." (Except that I know he's gonna be all like, "Zosh, did you have to announce my real age to everyone on your website?")
But it just made sense. It doesn't matter what number we are. None of it makes a difference because we can't control it anyhow. Simple as that. We can only control how we FEEL about it, and for that, we have a few options.
So I got to thinking - WTF IS WRONG WITH 30?
Why are women ashamed to become a 20-nothing? Why are we glorified at 20 and horrified at 30? Now that I'm 30, I can safely say it should be the exact opposite way around.
I won't lie. It took me awhile to wake up but now that I'm THIRTY, I rhyme with dirty and flirty, and yes, I'm f*cking thriving. Plus, I know more about myself today than I ever have before.
Here are 30 things I learned that may help you wake up too, no matter what damn number you are.
1. Stop flipping out about getting older. We can’t control it - it’s a little something we call LIFE. Let's celebrate with glorious passion, and embrace our fine new elderly wisdoms and wrinkles - instead of getting embarrassed by it. By doing this, we are certain to live happier, no matter what our number!
2. Look at the big picture. It’s okay to forget about everything else for a minute to ensure you're on the path you want to be. Focus on your goals, how YOU define success and happiness, and if you’re going the right way for YOU.
3. Followers are for Instagram. Each of us are the leaders of our own lives and are responsible for how we live. Only WE are capable of making decisions that are best for us.
4. Mistakes happen. We’re human, and we all make them. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Learn from it and keep moving forward.
5. Doing good is like an orgasm for your heart. Showing kindness to others is one of the greatest things you can possibly do - for yourself and for all of humankind.
6. Having fun is more important than looking cool. Except if you’re in a business meeting. Then trying to pay attention and not slurp coffee too loudly are the most important things.
7. Every single moment of every single day is a learning opportunity. We can learn from everything, as long as our minds are open to it. Continual and intentional learning is vital to grow your mind, and ensure you’re becoming exactly who you want to be.
8. People wait too much. We have to wait for trains but life is like a car. Waiting for life doesn’t work; you need to grab the keys and go for a joyride! You might get a flat and you'll for sure need to stop for gas, but you WILL reach your destination so long as you choose to START the journey. Vroom vroom baby.
9. Finding a husband should not be a priority – finding yourself should be. You won’t be happy with anyone else if you’re not happy with yourself first.
10. Fear is our friend. When our heart beats and our blood pumps, our body truly feels alive. The goal is to channel our energy towards excitement - not anxiety. No matter if we succeed or fail, there's always a life lesson on the other side of fear to help us personally progress.
11. Every day is a reason to celebrate. No need to wait until the weekend or your birthday. Every day is a gift – literally people, we are living in The Present.
12. Worry and stress are like a new pair of flip flops. The more you wear them, the more they mold to you and shape who you are. It’s crucial to let these go (the worry & stress, not the flip flops), take a deep breath, and understand that we can’t control everything. All we can do is keep moving forward the best way we know how.
13. We ALL deal with the highs and lows of life. We ALL go through breakups, makeups, death, distress, job & money & time issues, love, lust, insecurity, indecision, and the list goes on. By understanding it's all part of the experience we call life, it allows us to flow with the highs and lows as they come - because who said it was supposed to be easy?
14. Comparing your life to someone else’s is silly. Every single human being is different- it’s written in our fingertips! Each of us is on this Earth for a different reason, and we each have a strength to share. It’s up to us to find it, pursue it and use it to better our world.
15. We can’t stop the bad things from happening. We can only work to improve ourselves, show love to others, raise our children right, and become leaders and role models in our own communities in order to create positive social impact on our world.
16. Happiness is a choice. There is a proven method for happiness, and it starts with awareness, appreciation, and YOU.
17. Older people are super smart. They should be respected, admired, questioned and listened to with curiosity.
You should also always offer them your seat or a helping hand with a smile. They've been dealing with this crazy world much longer than you have.
18. Confidence has nothing to do with what your body looks like - and everything to do with how you feel in it. Having gratitude for everything your body allows you to do is a great start. From there, don’t feel guilty about which type of 6-pack you’d prefer (Heineken will do just fine).
Sidenote: No one besides you notices or cares about your pimples, wrinkles, or what color eyeliner you wear. Seriously. No one.
19. Real friends go out of their way for you. They are the ones who are inconvenienced, and possibly distressed, but will always carve time in their busy schedule to be there for you when you need it most – no matter how many miles away they may be.
20. Time is the most important thing we have every day. Schedule it wisely, and surround yourself with people you want to be around and things you love to do. Don’t feel bad saying no to things you don’t enjoy.
21. Labels don't matter - for people, for clothes, for anything. Well, maybe on cookie packages, to know which cookies are of tip-top-tea-dipping status. The point is, we’re SO used to labeling EVERYTHING and needing to place people into a certain category – when really, we all fall into one simple category called HUMAN.
22. The secret to life is pretty simple. That LOVE, LAUGH, LEARN mantra is written on everything for a reason. It's all about loving yourself, laughing together, and learning something new every day.
23. You don't have to be the same person you were 1 minute ago. People change, feelings change, and every moment you have a choice to create change for yourself and your happiness.
24. Women are born to be leaders. We are built to endure pain, suffering, and lactate milk for little people, for goodness sake! We must stand together, dance together, learn together, lead together, and support one another. We must accept that, together, women’s rights will be righted.
25. Living with less is okay and highly recommended. We're so used to wanting MORE, we don't appreciate what we have now. We all definitely have enough clothes. Your closet, laundry, and bank account agree.
26. Believing in G-d is okay but not if you use it as an excuse to act disrespectful towards others. Take responsibility for how you treat other humans here on Earth. Every person deserves respect, no matter what their beliefs are.
27. Laughing IS the best medicine. Orgasms are a close second.
28. Technology has connected us to anything and disconnected us from everything. Our days move fast, and our years move faster. It's VITAL to look up from our screens, up at the sky, into people's eyes, and genuinely connect with one another.
29. Men are simple creatures. They were not created for our dependence. The key for any relationship to work is communication. Letting your brain do the thinking without your mouth doing the talking is a recipe for relationship disaster and distress.
30. YOU are the only person living for you. Define what is important to you, create your own opportunities, and get out of bed every morning knowing that today you are taking a baby step towards your goals and becoming the YOU of your dreams. Let go of what you can't control and take contol of what you can. Every day is an opportunity to learn, grow and shine. Every day is a new breathe and a new moment and new chance to live life to the fullest.
AND ONE FOR GOOD LUCK :)
31. You can do exactly the same kinds of ridiculous things in your 30's as you did in your 20's. You just might have to take an extra day off to recover :)
Now that I'm 30, there's plenty more wisdom where that came from, so lookout for the next list.
Do you have anything to add? What was your favorite tip? Tell us in the comments!