Three days in a row, three different people told me that I was good at being single. While I'm not sure what spurred this onslaught of complimentary behavior of my relationship status, it got me thinking - what the F does that mean?
What makes someone GOOD at being single? So here are the 9 ways I came up with to rock your singledom in all it's glory.
Tip 1: Stop giving a fuck.
The first rule of being single is to stop comparing yourself to everyone else, and be completely okay with where you are in your life right now.
You are not your best friend, your roommate, your little sister, and you sure as hell are not your Facebook feed. Heaven forbid.
Stop allowing yourself to feel pressured or guilty because you haven’t yet fulfilled your mom’s dreams, feel weird being the 3rd wheel (because if you're spending time with the right people, they shouldn't make you feel that way), or feel bad because you've reached a ‘certain age.’ All of these things only matter because you let them.
Everytime we allow ourselves to think like this, we’re taking a HUGE step back for our single state; It’s like we’re punishing ourselves for absolutely no reason because we haven't met the ONE person (out of the 7 billion that exist) who we want to live with all of our lives.
It's time to embrace your freedom for what it is, and give a big F U to the rest of the world for making us feel bad for not being just like everyone else.
Sorry society, and even you Mr. Disney...We don't need any heroes over here, we gots ourselves and that's just perfect for right now.
To all the single people, come up with your own version of single, and make THAT your happily ever after.
Tip 2: Stop wishing & hoping & praying &...complaining.
Everyone is single at some point…until they're not. And so it will be for you darling. The worst thing you can do is moan about it - because if you think negative (and worse if you speak it out loud over and over), nothing positive is likely to happen.
If you're still single, it's probably because you haven't found anyone worthy of your awesomeness. Most likely, it's because YOU haven't accepted your own awesomeness yet. (See #3-9 on how to figure this out) If you don't see yourself as awesome, how is anyone else supposed to? It's important to stop wishing, hoping, praying and start DOING things for yourself.
Got it? Stop bitching (even if it's just in your own brain) and start breathing - choose to see the bright side of being sans partner.
Enjoy the endless freedom you have to do whatever and whoever you want, whenever and however you want. Embrace every moment you get to focus on just yourself, treat yourself, and learn new things about yourself. Once you partner up, you won't have that option - so don't take a single second of it for granted.
Tip 3: Do whatever the F you want.
Fly free little bird! Do whatever makes you happy and DON'T feel bad about it. Stay in on a Friday night with a bottle of wine and some arts and crafts. Go to spin class and walk directly into the sea afterwards. Go out with that dude just because you spent too much on happy hour with the girls this week. Cook a 5-course meal for yourself and friend. Bake a cake with no plans of sharing. Do it and do it all – with joy, excitement, laughter, passion, and love.
The more you take this time to learn about yourself, your likes, dislikes, etc - the more you become YOU, and the more likely someone is to see whatever specialness you have to offer the world.
Tip 4: Enough with the over analyzing already
Women, we all do it, and admittedly, it's one of our biggest flaws as a gender. If you are or know one of those chickadees who gets up in swirls about a text or a non text or a 'just the text', STOP. Girls, please read the following and absorb these words into your brain - They. Are. Not. Worth. It. At least they're not worth more than your sanity.
Let's be honest with ourselves already, and think this through properly. If he doesn't initiate seeing you after one date or four, if he never asks you to stay for brunch, if he does absolutely nothing nice for you, and if he doesn't treat you with the respect any normal human should treat another human - he's just not that into you. And you should immediately move the eff ON.
If he does feign interest, cool. You've passed GO, but you are still ages away from collecting $200 or that bling ring we all supposedly hope & wish for. What's recommended? Go on that date, but then sit back and let him initiate the rest of the way.
The most important thing to remember - focus on whether YOU like him, as opposed to figuring out if HE likes you. You have all the control in your hands ladies. It's up to you to take the reigns. (Insert whipping sound here)
Tip 5: Find a new hobby.
Or two or three. And leave your friends behind for this one. Oh, and sorry darlings but drinking, smoking, watching TV, and discussing celeb gossip do not count.
Being single gives you all the time in the world to expore your interests, and things you might just love to do. Whether it's kickboxing, kitesurfing, cooking, yoga, painting, acupuncture, volunteering, book club, pole climbing, WHATEVER.
No matter what it may be; try anything which will help develop yourself as a human being. Doing them on your own is even better. Finding the little things you enjoy and giving yourself time to do them is the perfect way to spend your single time.
Note: Never ever let these things go when you do find your next squeeze. They are important to you and your happiness, and you should always make time in your schedule to do what you love.
Tip 6: Say NO.
Don't feel like being the 5th wheel? Or going on another wretched Tinder date? Or going out to that club AGAIN? Or showering? Then don't. You're allowed to say no to things; and you shouldn't feel the least bit guilty about it.
Feeling obligated is the worst, and though sometimes it's necessary, most of the time, we just force ourselves into situations we don't enjoy because of our irrational fear of missing out (FOMO). Well, we need to get over this stat. It's OKAY to just say no. Stop letting yourself focus on others so much - you're single - you should be thinking about yourself!
Choose to do things that uplift your spirit and that you know will result in you feeling happy. Doing things that you don't enjoy or spending time with people who suck your energy is not recommended and is a waste of our one precious life.
Keep your single spirit alive by doing things for YOU, and surrounding yourself with activities and people that breed positive energy.
Tip 7: Let it go.
To quote our fave femme-lovin Frozen, whatever happens in your little dome of single life, let it go. We all make stupid, embarassing, impractical decisions, and then obsess over them. STOP and simply let it all go. Stop stressing about what was, or what will be. The best way to enjoy your single life is to enjoy it NOW.
So live loud. Be ridiculous. Have fun with it. Let it gooooooooo. Being single is supposed to be fun, not miserable. Everyone does silly things sometimes. The sooner you start enjoying and embracing it all, the sooner you will feel amazingly okay with where you are.
Tip 8: Say YES.
Okay, so love hasn't found its way into your britches just yet, but who says a new relationship is out of the question? Now that you have all these new hobbies and you're doing things you love to do, you're bound to meet like-minded people that enjoy the same things as you. This is the perfect opportunity to make a new friend!
Choose someone you'd be interested in getting to know better and go for a coffee. Ask genuine questions, listen, and don't do it just because they look like they'll have cute single friends.
Tip 9: Don't forget to look up.
Remember when the only form of flirting was...eye contact? Gone are those days and now it's all about right swipes and emojis. We're all for creating opportunities for yourself; however, if you find that you're not getting the results you want and feeling good about it, maybe it's time to go back to organic?
Join as many dating sites as you like - but don't spend all your time looking down at your apps when taking one glance up can open up your world to the thriving and amazing life around you, AND maybe even a conversation with a cutie that's actually standing in front of you.
So don't forget to live openly! Look up from your phones, your tablets, your kindles. Look at the life that's happening around you. Say the word SINGLE out loud and realize that it's by no means a bad thing, but a glorious status that should make you hop, skip and jump into whatever the EFF YOU WANT!
WRAP UP: When we start accepting our single status and thinking about it as a good thing and as much needed time for ourselves, our entire outlook on life will change. And who knows what that might attract? :)
What do you love about being single? Share with us free birds!!
USA/Israel; Loves bagels, sunshine & learning new things everyday