The pursuit of love and happiness are endless missions that end up leading to the exact opposite outcome.
Osho, a well known Professor of Philosophy in India, says, “If you search for happiness, one thing is sure: you are not going to reach it. Happiness is always a derivative, not the direct consequence of a search.”
To me, this means that each of us who are searching for love & happiness, can't actually enjoy the present. And love & happiness exists only in the now.
"Happiness has nothing to do with success; happiness has nothing to do with ambition, or having money, power or prestige. Happiness is linked to your awareness, not to your character” Osho.
Happiness is not constant but can be consistent. I understand it as attitude. Facing the same situation with a different perspective changes the situation, the emotions created, and the capacity to deal with them.
With a focus on the NOW, you will stop searching for happiness, and instead, just experience it.
The dependence on material things, just as in people, limits our capacity of being happy. With materialism, we can possess things but avoid feeling attached towards them. Only then, will we develop independence. The same goes with people in order for us to remain truly independent.
Sometimes I hear the sentence: I am looking for a husband, or I am looking for a mother that takes care of our children.
Why not to look for joy, a good conversation or to share a hobby with someone? That will create the basis and pillars of a relationship, with common values.
After all, the feeling of falling in love disappears, and when that happens, and if there is no foundation, it makes no difference how much love you want to give or to receive. Love by itself is not enough to maintain a healthy relationship.
The feeling of love gives us the ability to tolerate things, which without the dose that drugs your mind, you could not stand, hold or allow it. It's as fragile and comfortable as dangerous. Your partner, from my point of view, must be before anything: your friend. Only then, we can keep a long and healthy relationship.
As I said, you only can love others when first you love yourself.
However, if you don't believe in yourself and appreciate yourself, it won't be a healthy and positive love, but will be a love with negative connotations associated with obsession, possession and jealousy.
When you believe that you love others, without having confidence and trusting your own being, without awareness, then you lose yourself. Losing the control of your life, surrendering to a path that will lead you to your own destruction. That destruction does not have to mean something like depression, could be the simple fact of being unhappy, or being unable to enjoy the present which is already an auto-destruction of yourself.
Build, accept and love because of the being you are. You are unique. At the same time you are everything and everyone.
Allow yourself to be loved by all the possible forms: as a son/daughter, brother/sister, friend, unknown, as a sunbeam, like something fleeting, ethereal, as eternal.
Above everything, allow yourself to be loved.
“To love someone unconditionally is not to care who they are or what they do. Unconditional love, on the surface, looks the same as indifference” (Richard Bach)
Spain & Israel, Loves the Present
Nita is the owner and inspiration behind El Reino de Nita: Yoga & Philosopy. Check out her amazing space right here: www.elreinodenita.com/en
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